I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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