whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
