I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
