i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
