oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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