The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize