Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
