3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
