I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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