nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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