There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
