i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
