I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
