He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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