dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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