After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
