last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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