Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
