Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
