You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
