Pappa wants mamma naked
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
