you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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