Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
