the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she peed on how many people?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
