Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
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I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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