I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
