finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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