so explain again why im purple
no
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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