Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This is the high leading the old right now
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
