I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize