i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize