smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
