Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
