I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize