we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
