idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
