we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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