is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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