i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
