; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
