Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize