Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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