i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
