somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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