so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize