I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
