WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
