The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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