Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
