I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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