We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
