Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
