She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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