Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
