Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize