If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
