Duck Duck Cougar?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize