bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
