Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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