I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
