Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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