New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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